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Another Twist
C may be going to Oklahoma for a couple months before we move to Destin.
When I was a little girl, I distinctly remember seeing one of those motivational posters in a classroom that said, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” That’s stayed with me for around 25 years now. I suppose there’s a reason why it did.
I’ve always shied away from risks and what might be classified as brash decisions. It’s the way I was raised and the way my mind works. I like to know what I’m getting into before I do it. It was further instilled in me by my overbearing parents who love to remind me of all the horrible things that happen to single women. So it’s been too easy for me to avoid risks.
Now I’ve got one of the most major risks I can imagine ahead of me. Let him go and get shit done for his mother so they can sell his great grandmother’s house. Let him stay a couple months and hopefully find whatever work he can and stockpile some cash. Let him come back and then we can both get ready to move to Destin. That’s the plan thus far.
Being totally honest, I’m terrified. What if he decides to stay, what if he meets some Oklahoma girl, what if this takes way longer than he thinks, what if he decides he wants to move to Destin by himself? All these questions running through my head. But I have to learn how to trust him. Anyway, I know I’ll be okay if he doesn’t come back. I won’t be happy for a very long time if he doesn’t, but I’ll be okay. Regardless of that, I should trust him. If he didn’t want to come back and move to Destin with me, he would tell me so.
But that doesn’t mean I won’t be a nervous wreck at first after he leaves. I’m sure I’ll get used to it. Hopefully, he won’t be gone long enough for me to get completely used to it.
There are still details he needs to work out and find out. There’s still a lot of discussion to take place. I have to get used to the idea.
But that little saying continues to play in my head. If he does come back, I’ll never doubt him again.
